he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
