I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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