This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
