I'm really into asian looking animals
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
