I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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