We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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