she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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