do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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