girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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