please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
