i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
