Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
