i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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