sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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