i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
