There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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