i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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