census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
