hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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