8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
