I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
