Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
