Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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