I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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