But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
