so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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