Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
