Bisexual people are plain selfish.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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