I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize