my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
