i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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