just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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