Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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