this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
