But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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