He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
