shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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