sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
