you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
