what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
