omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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