Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
