does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
