The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
