1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
