You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
