Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
should my penis look like a turkey
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
