I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
