how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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