In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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