you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
